better late than never....

LOL i guess i forgot this thing was here! sort of. just been busy. its been a busy couple of weeks - lots going on with the kids, gary's been working a ton & i've been trying to keep myself busy. not hard to do with a house to clean, errands to run, kids to take care of, meals to prepare, bills to pay.... shoot, the list goes on & on! i'm definitley looking forward to thanksgiving & christmas at this point. the kids have lots of time off of school & my grandparents are coming down from kansas (to my mom's) for thanksgiving. at christmas, gary managed to get some time off work so we'll all be going to CA together, which makes me very happy. we'll be back home for christmas weekend.... super excited about the root beer glazed ham i'm making for christmas dinner!

home again, home again

well i'm home from CA. that was a fun trip! i know i was super busy & i really didn't relax much... but it was still vacation because i didn't have the kids with me & i knew i could relax because they were safe & sound with gary.  =) the main purpose of my trip was to check-in on my grandparents, see their attorney, get some stuff squared with their trust, that sort of thing. but.... since it was falling right at my birthday i got to mix in some fun! oh & lots of starbucks. LOL i really am glad to be home though. as homesick as i have been getting for CA, i realize that there are a lot of things i can have living here in NM that i just couldn't have in CA. being a stay at home mom is the most obvious & most important... the cost of living in CA is just so high that i would have to work, here it's not. we can absolutely get by on one income & that means so much more to me (& gary too!) than having starbucks everyday. <3

california

this is the first time i've "blogged" this week i think.... i was sitting here trying to think about what to write in regards to my trip to california & my husband says "so when you go to california". LOL i guess he was thinking the same thing in a way!

i'm leaving for my mom's tomorrow when the kids get home from school... my plane leaves crazy early saturday morning. my dad is gonna pick me up & we're going to handle some business at the bank & then i think i'm gonna make him take me to my favorite mexican place for lunch! LOL

saturday in our house....

mommy sleeps in, daddy takes care of the kids... nice, warm, satisfying breakfast on the table that is enjoyed in a peaceful, happy manner... what a perfect saturday morning! wait. did that happen? oh i must have still been dreaming!! that certainly didn't happen in MY house this morning!!

things have actually been pretty unhappy around here lately. i don't know how else to describe it. the kids are constantly fighting, whining, not listening, arguing or crying over something. & if they're not, i am. everyone told me "when the kids turn 5, there's a big jump in maturity".... yes, yes, i can see that. what these people forgot to tell me is that there's also a big jump in back-talking & stubbornness. i realize that we've had some pretty big changes in the last couple of months - moving & kindergarten being the obvious & biggest ones. i also realize that a lot of the "misbehavior" is coming from them being tired a lot - they have very long & busy days at school & there's no time for a nap anymore. that's huge! i guess the point i'm trying to make is "how do i get these kids of mine to behave even when they're tired?". cause they have to!

the sad apart of all this is how it makes me feel as a mommy. it sucks & i can feel myself falling in a hole. i spent too much time there in the past & i really don't want to go there again. but i don't understand them right now & don't know how to get thru to them. i'm trying SO hard to be consistent, cause we all know that this is the key to parenting, but i just want to scream at them & pull my hair out at least once everyday.

this is turning into a much longer post than i expected. i think that some of this is therapeutic for me as well as being a small outlet for other moms. the daily struggles that we face as moms aren't talked about enough. post-partum depression isn't talked about enough. we feel too guilty about it cause we're not supposed to feel this way about being moms. i personally have seen enough darkness as a mom to know that its better to talk about it & try to understand & fix it......

new mexico

today was busy, busy, busy! i like days like this except when i get an "ugly" thrown in the mix! see?? i titled this blog appropriately "the good, the bad & the probably pretty ugly". LOL let me just say that being someone's power of attorney is WAY overrated. i could easily be working a part-time job with all the stuff i have to do on pracitcally a daily basis lately. i know its worthwhile & lord knows no one else will do it but still.... i didn't get anything done today because i had to make so many phone calls & things like that. not to mention the brain power it uses up being stressed over things! i need wine.... =)

letter pancakes!!

this was probably one of the most fun ideas i've had since being a mom. well, maybe 2nd best idea to the jelly bean planting @ easter. LOL i took a regular old squeeze bottle (like for ketchup or something) & filled it with the pancake batter.... then i squeezed the letter shapes onto my hot griddle! it took a few messed up letters to sort of figure out how big & thick they needed to be so they wouldn't fall apart when i flipped them. oh & i had a little problem with the batter getting stuck in the tip of the bottle... but a quick rinse with warm water fixed it. all in all, a great idea & the kids loved it!

halloween decorating....

now i don't go out of this world with decorations for most holidays (except christmas)... but putting up even small decorations with the kids' help is SO much fun! i love, love, love getting the window cling thingamajiggers cause the kids love helping with them; they think they're stickers! i have all these cute little pillows shaped like pumpkins, a kitty with a pumpkin for a body & a bat. oh & the led light-up pumpkins & ghosts you can get at target. LOL those are awesome! now that the kids are a bit older, i feel like i can get out my halloween platters & candles. i NEVER spend lots of $$$ on decorations either. dollar stores, big lots & sometimes target are my favorite places to get them....

maybe i can figure out how to post some pictures..... LOL