saturday in our house....

mommy sleeps in, daddy takes care of the kids... nice, warm, satisfying breakfast on the table that is enjoyed in a peaceful, happy manner... what a perfect saturday morning! wait. did that happen? oh i must have still been dreaming!! that certainly didn't happen in MY house this morning!!

things have actually been pretty unhappy around here lately. i don't know how else to describe it. the kids are constantly fighting, whining, not listening, arguing or crying over something. & if they're not, i am. everyone told me "when the kids turn 5, there's a big jump in maturity".... yes, yes, i can see that. what these people forgot to tell me is that there's also a big jump in back-talking & stubbornness. i realize that we've had some pretty big changes in the last couple of months - moving & kindergarten being the obvious & biggest ones. i also realize that a lot of the "misbehavior" is coming from them being tired a lot - they have very long & busy days at school & there's no time for a nap anymore. that's huge! i guess the point i'm trying to make is "how do i get these kids of mine to behave even when they're tired?". cause they have to!

the sad apart of all this is how it makes me feel as a mommy. it sucks & i can feel myself falling in a hole. i spent too much time there in the past & i really don't want to go there again. but i don't understand them right now & don't know how to get thru to them. i'm trying SO hard to be consistent, cause we all know that this is the key to parenting, but i just want to scream at them & pull my hair out at least once everyday.

this is turning into a much longer post than i expected. i think that some of this is therapeutic for me as well as being a small outlet for other moms. the daily struggles that we face as moms aren't talked about enough. post-partum depression isn't talked about enough. we feel too guilty about it cause we're not supposed to feel this way about being moms. i personally have seen enough darkness as a mom to know that its better to talk about it & try to understand & fix it......